Collection of random batman oneshots
by MonsterBasher
Summary: Eh, just a collection of some crappy oneshots set in 'The Batman'.   May bring in canons from other series, but to put them in TBverse, fan characters, etc.  Crack may pop up!  Except crappiness and overall weirdness. xD
1. Chapter 1

Yuup, the first part of my random oneshots. A lot of them are prompts I've gotten from the gals over on Batfans United! I just want to say now that all of these oneshots are going to be set in 'The Batman'. I may bring in canons that existed only in other versions, but I still mean the setting to be the Batman.

This one's for D.A.V.E, who really needs moar love.

* * *

He'd...miscalculated. He hated to admit it, but it was the truth. There was no way for him to disguise this, not when the repairs had been extensive and it had taken him nearly two weeks to get back into a solid body. It greatly stung his pride, but the Batman had nearly taken him offline. Bruce's efforts had been only 7% away from being entirely successful, his great mind calculated.

All three of his red optics narrowed, enraged by the thought. He _hated_ the repairs, the entire process of coming back online. Hated the hellish days he'd spent trapped as little more than a computer program, a ghost amongst machines. It was a continuous reminder of his undeserved incarceration in this metal prison. Had he really been so bad, as a man?

He couldn't...he couldn't remember. That was the worst. His doctor, Hugo Strange, had told him that he was once the greatest villain the city had ever known. Too calculating, too dangerous for _normal_ punishment. His body had been mortally wounded, the good doctor had mentioned, and while they'd had the technology to repair him...instead, they'd believed it was safer to put his mind into a machine forever. To use him, to study his brilliance to put an end to the other criminals.

D.A.V.E hissed at the thought. Well, if the higher ups in Gotham thought they were _safe_ now because of Batman, they had another thing coming. He knew what to expect from the man now, knew that fighting him in his own lair was something best avoided. He wouldn't make that mistake again, he'd force Batman onto his own playing field, when the time was right.

..But for now, he'd show this city the kind of fun Strange had insisted he put it through decades prior. They would come to see, just how much of a mistake they'd made by practically making him immortal. He'd show them, he'd show them all!

He was the _perfect_ criminal.


	2. Chapter 2

I decided to play around with Roxy Rocket in the setting of 'The Batman', because she's awesome and I love her. Not sure if I did her any justice, but hey.

* * *

"Nice rocket."

His sarcastic observation caused the brunette's darkly-painted lips to part in an almost manic manner. Either she didn't recognize the biting tone of his voice, or found something funny about that attitude. Something a little _too _funny.

She leaned forward, making him feel just a little uncomfortable as her gloved fingers came into contact with his own. It didn't help matters that the aviator's jacket she'd worn had fallen off some time ago in their struggle, and that with only a tank top, he was getting a fairly gratuitous sight of her cleavage.

On purpose, Bruce imagined, given the look on her face and the overall aggression in her body language. Still, he did nothing to stop her. Perhaps a part of him...enjoyed this, almost as much as she enjoyed the thrill of the chase.

"Mm, isn't it?" she purred as seductively as she could, which..unfortunately for him, wasn't that bad of an effort. "Gift from my employer. Probably better we worked out a deal, instead of me just nabbing it. Still learning how to work this baby. Hey! You wanna see how fast I can go?"

She was a bit too chatty for her own good as a criminal, but Bruce believed he could use that to his advantage. He had suspected from their very first meeting that she was working for somebody else, but hadn't any clue as to who. This was his chance to coax it out of her, one way or another.

As she turned around, presumably to speed the rocket up in hopes of kicking him off or frightening him into bailing, he grabbed onto the very same hand that had been touching his own.

"Roxanne. _Who _do you work for?"

She gave him a funny look. For once, an expression of hers he couldn't read all the way. Whatever she meant by it, he didn't like it.

"You really wanna know, Bats?" she chuckled, managing to wrench her hand out of his grasp.

He said nothing to her teasing, simply glared.

"Yeesh, no sense of fun, huh? Fine."

The wild woman sighed and shrugged, but in what looked like a defeated manner.

"He's not going to be too happy," she added. "Isn't it pretty risky of me?"

"That shouldn't be a problem for you," he snorted. "You appear to enjoy that sort of thing."

Her manic grin returned.

"Ooh, touche. You're right, I _do _like risk...But.."

She slid closer to him, much in the same manner she had before. He was used to female villains attempting to seduce him to get out of trouble, but while flying a rocket several stories above Gotham? It was definitely a first.

" I also enjoy the thrill of the hunt."

Before he even registered the fact her expression had darkened considerably, and her body posture had shifted, Roxanne had pressed a hidden button somewhere near where he was sitting- and as consequence, the rocket skidded to an abrupt halt. The ex stunt woman had taken the appropriate position to avoid being flung off before doing so- using feminine wiles as an excuse to mask her true intentions.

He tried to get a better grip, but was flung backwards- saved only by Roxanne grabbing onto the collar of his suit.

"..You wanna know who hired me? Well, _catch me if you can_!"

And with that she let go, letting him plummet to the city below.


	3. Chapter 3

er yeah...this is gonna be a little weird, and it's somewhat cracky, but..I honestly had this plotbunny floating around my head wanting me to do an actual fanfic based on this premise. I kind of like the idea of these two villains teaming up together- because he's completely awesome, thinks of everything, and hates things too 'passe and boring. And she's kind of a loose canon, unpredictable sort of deal. lol I don't even know, I'm lame.

Anyway, I still indulge the idea of someday writing an equally as lame fic based on this, but I did a oneshot playing around with the idea..and wanted to see if I could garner any feedback from it first. Even if I don't get reviews I might do a fic like this when I get the urge, but it never hurts to try and see if you get reviews, right?

Oh...and any fic I did with this would be written better. I was in a REALLY lazy mood when I did this and a majority of these drabbles, so please forgive the poor qualiy of writing. *offers readers a fork* Just in case you need to spare your eyes further pain!

* * *

"It's _over_."

Finally, an entire _week _of chasing after Roxanne had paid off.

She'd finally slipped up and let her guard down, enough to believe she'd gotten away and left him in her dust. It had been quite a feat to fake the wreck enough the daredevil bought it, but worthwhile in the end. Because she'd led him straight to her employer, and his hideout. An old, abandoned factory in the older parts of the town.

"Probably shouldn't have hired such a fruitcake," Barbara chortled from beside him, having decided to follow and help to make up for nearly buying the wreck and almost ruining the entire thing by attempting to come to his rescue.

The mystery villain who had headed this entire thing, did not seemed panicked in the least. They'd broken into the main office of this factory, found him sitting in a torn and weathered leather-bound chair, and though he'd known they were there he'd sat with the chair's back to them the entire time. Almost as if he didn't care.

Bruce frowned. There was something not right about this.

"Strong silent type, huh?" Barbara continued. "Or, are you just humiliated that your hired help led us straight to you?"

Finally, there was a sense of movement, enough to catch sight of the criminal's long, black trench coat in the darkened room. Then, the villain chuckled. Another red flag.

"What's so funny?" the teenager questioned. "Have you just lost it too?"

"You make the mistake of presuming I _didn't _want to be found."

Bruce's eyes widened. There was something...familiar here. Something that made his stomach turn.

"That voice..."

Barbara turned and looked at him, seeking to know what exactly was on his mind.

Suddenly, it clicked.

"No. It _couldn't_ be..."

"Oh, but it is," the voice drawled from behind the desk, spinning the chair around until they could finally see him in his full glory. Batman narrowed his eyes in complete disbelief, while Barbara widened hers in surprise of who their enemy was.

"Woah."

It was D.A.V.E. Looking just like he had quite a while ago, as if no harm had ever befallen him. His alloy was a perfect copy, as was the rest of his body- right down to the three, burning red optics. The only thing that was different, was the color of his coat now.

It...It couldn't be! How? He'd seen him crushed. He and Alfred had even disposed of the body save for what remained of the head, which was securely locked away in the batcave. How could he _possibly _have survived?

...Well...he was a machine. Even if he didn't fully realize it. Perhaps D.A.V.E had uploaded his 'brain' elsewhere, which allowed him to hack into systems and create this new body. Bruce gritted his teeth. Hugo was a mad genius.

"Missed me, _Bruce_?"

"It _knows_?"

D.A.V.E's optics narrowed at Barbara's comment, though the robot just as quickly returned his attention to him rather than take the time to chide his partner for referring to him as an it.

"Why, D.A.V.E?"

"You should know better than to ask that question by now, Batman. Haven't we already been down this road?"

"No. I mean, why did you hire Roxy?"

"Every good villain requires a bit of help now and again. Why do _you _let the little brat tag along?"

"Hey!" Barbara snorted in offense. "I'm not little!"

"Villains hire when they _need_ help. You could have easily done all of this on your own. I thought you were the _greatest_?"

D.A.V.E fell silent for a moment, leaning against the desk thoughtfully.

"I admit I'm disappointed in you, Bruce. I'd have thought you able to come to the simple conclusion. "

"Then why don't you enlighten us, tin can?"

Barbara's quip earned her another glare, but the robot wasted no time trying to make an example of her.

"Of course I could have committed these crimes on my own. It would have been easier, perhaps faster to acquire everything I needed without help. But, that would have ruined the _fun_."

The robot began pacing a little, with a sense of growing agitation.

"You would have known, Bruce," he continued. " And you would have been able to prepare for _me_. I couldn't allow you the chance to cheat again, now could I? Miss Sutton's unpredictable nature offered the best possibility of distracting you from finding out."

It was true, Bruce had to admit. Even though he'd thought D.A.V.E to be offline, he would have grown suspicious and come up with another plan the second security cameras picked up on the robot back in action. Roxanne's schemes had caused him to seek out the criminals it seemed most like, ones that were in D.A.V.E's very databanks. He hadn't even thought of the possibility it was him. He was the last person in Gotham Batman would ever have suspected to hire the wildcard...but perhaps granted the robot's disdain of predictability when it applied to anybody else but himself, he should have seen something like this coming.

"...What's your game this time, D.A.V.E?"

"A little thing I like to call revenge," the automaton hissed. "Or simply put, the _end _of the Batman."

"Big words from an overgrown toaster," Barbara retorted, preparing herself for battle. She wasn't about to let the robot take on Bruce alone. "We'll see how great you are, when you take on both of us at once."

D.A.V.E hardly seemed effected by her bold statement, and instead chose to ignore her this time.

"The _real _game begins when Miss Sutton leaves in just a few minutes. "

"What kind of game?"

"Wayne industry's _ruin_. You're due for demolition, Bruce."

Barbara tilted her head in disbelief. "Well how-"

Her voice trailed off, and her eyes widened. She exchanged another glance with him, and it became clear they were thinking the same thing.

"The rocket...It's a missile. Isn't it, D.A.V.E?"

"Strong enough to destroy every square inch of Wayne Industries...and oh, of course, everything in a 50-mile radius."

His eyes widened.

"If you chase her, I'll get away to plot my next strike," D.A.V.E taunted. "You have five minutes to make your move, Bruce. But know this, this is only the _beginning_ of your end."

What could he do? If he didn't try to stop Roxanne, she and countless innocents would be killed in the explosion. But, if he let D.A.V.E get away, the robot could come up with something worse- and he knew that he could.

"Don't worry Batman, I'll go get Roxanne. We'll have a little 'girl talk'."

Thank God for Barbara. He wasn't so certain about letting her deal with any criminals on her own, but...he'd taught her enough. Hopefully, she could take on Roxanne safely. At the very least, it was better she go after the other woman instead of stick around and fight D.A.V.E. He was the more dangerous of the two of them. Roxy just wanted thrills.

Just in case the robot saw the possibility of his plan falling apart if Batgirl got to Roxanne, Batman charged, striking out at D.A.V.E so that she could get away and help save the downtown area. The ploy appeared to work, as he caught the robot off guard long enough to knock him to the ground.

"...Very well, Bruce."

D.A.V.E wasted absolutely no time getting up and striking back. He was just as strong as Bruce remembered. Though he defended himself from several of the robot's strikes, eventually he slipped and D.A.V.E shoved him against the wall fairly hard.

"...Don't do this, D.A.V.E. Call it off!"

Why he was reasoning with the robot, or trying to, he wasn't sure. But D.A.V.E had never seemed the overly homicidal sort, from what he recalled. Perhaps this would work, it was worth a shot. If nothing else, it could prove distraction enough for him to get a good opening for attack.

"Innocent people are going to _die_. People who have done nothing to deserve this, not even Roxanne!"

"The so-called innocent _always _pay. They should know the dangers of living in this city."

He attempted to lash out at the robot but the machine was quicker, and shoved him into the wall harder.

"..What makes you think Roxanne won't try and stop it, if she gets that far?"

She was a crazy adrenaline junkie, but even she appeared to have her limitations. Bruce couldn't imagine she would keep the rocket going toward Wayne industries, and would panic and try to steer it elsewhere once she figured out the controls had shifted.

D.A.V.E's optics narrowed.

"What makes you think she _doesn't_ know?"

His eyes widened again, but the robot started to choke him before he could say anything.

"I do so enjoy this city. Now why would I want to destroy what I hope to control?"

"But you said-"

"I lied," the robot interrupted, releasing the tight grip on his throat. "All part of the game, Batman."

Bruce rubbed his aching throat and coughed, greedily gasping for air.

"...Where is the missile really heading?"

"..You don't know how long I agonized over the best way to defeat you," D.A.V.E snarled, starting on a tangent. "I spent hours, _days_, running calculations- seeing where I went wrong, trying to think of the best way to get rid of you. But killing you would be far too simple..too boring. I wouldn't need to, if I removed all your fancy little gadgets."

"...No."

"That's right, Bruce. Your sanctuary, your _home_."

_Barbara_!

He had to warn her. If Roxanne knew about this ploy, it was extremely likely she might let Batgirl take the one way ride straight to Wayne Manor. He couldn't let that happen!

He started to rush the way Barbara had left, when something large and heavy slammed into him from behind and knocked him off his feet.

"Uh uh, No tag outs. The brat chose to play hero. Let her go out like one." 


	4. Chapter 4

annnnd another crappy oneshot to spam this section with! D it features D.A.V.E and a fancharacter of mine. I haven't really written up an origin story for her, so perhaps it was a mistake to post a oneshot with her, but whatevs. She's the reason I had to up the rating. Samantha/Corvus is a loyal crazy mob lady who is a shameless, violent, crass bitch. lol I apologize if she's like, one of the worst fancharacters you've ever seen.

..and as for this drabble, I have little excuse other than I wanted them to fight for some dumb reason and me and one of my bat fandom friends were talking about this other crazy plotbunny where D.A.V.E decided 'lol imma take over the mob and take over the city and kick all the other freak's asses because the mob has class and never seems to disappear for long. With me as their leader, there'd be craziness!'

* * *

The tension in the air was so thick, they were practically suffocating. Anxiety came with the territory of being in the mob, their line of work wasn't exactly a relaxing one. But even so, Samantha had to say, she'd never felt this much anger and nervous energy all in one sitting. She briefly wondered if the other guns felt the same way, if not worse. They'd been positioned in various spots outside Thorne's home for _hours _now, and it didn't get easier the later it got. If anything, the encroaching darkness would make things worse for them...easier for their new enemy. Night was the best cover, after all.

Samantha sighed and tugged at one of the red feathers poking out of the band on her pinstripe fedora. This was about the hundredth time in the last two hours she'd done this particular action, but it was all she could do to keep from nervously grabbing her gun and holding onto it so tightly that she accidentally fired at the wall in front of her. Given that she had the honor of standing outside Thorne's personal office, as his absolute last line of defense, it wouldn't do any good to make the poor man any more afraid about what was going on. He was already being put through enough, with the myriad of threats that had been sent his way lately.

'Corvus' growled at the very thought, and audacity of whoever it was behind this. Message after message had found its way into thorne's lap, each filled with compliments about how the mob had turned out, insults against Thorne's own character...and a _promise_ that the mob would be getting a much more beneficial leader. Once the old one had been taken care of. How _dare_ anybody think they could just waltz in like this! The mystery man, or woman, had proven impossible to trace- and had taken the entire thing a step further by broadcasting to Thorne just when they planned on striking. _Tonight_. With the character of the messages Thorne had gotten, she didn't doubt that this person would show. The writings wreaked of a heavy superiority complex, a kind that life in the mob had helped her get used to. Their kind never missed the opportunity to prove themselves. Thorne knew that just as well. Perhaps that was why he'd put her, the trigger-happy gun moll, outside of the room he was hiding in. Because if the perpetrator were a male as condescending in real life as in their messages, he would potentially underestimate her- and with her 'shoot first, ask somebody else questions later' nature, she could take care of their problem with one well-aimed shot.

She puffed her chest out with pride, already imagining that she would prove herself in that manner- if the boys on the outside didn't do their job right. Which, she hoped they would, despite wanting to be the one who earned Thorne's lavish praise.

"There's plenty of us around this place to-"

She never finished that sentence. A scream pierced the air from the outside momentarily, before it was muffled then silenced. Seconds later, the lights in the hallway flickered, until they had completely gone out. Thorne gave a cry of some sort from inside his office, and she could hear him desperately shoving through his large desk, looking for a flashlight or matchbox of some kind. If the power in _there_was out, then it meant the major lines- and even the backup generator- were out of commission. Cut, by the sounds of that scream.

"_Shit_," the mob gun hissed under her breath, pulling her gun out without a moment's hesitation. She had no need to remove the safety, it was never on. She licked the corners of her lips, as she heard the sounds of struggling beneath her. It was hard to hear what was going on, but from what she could decipher, it wasn't good. Her anger started to rise, as well as her anxiety. Whoever this was, they knew how to play this game. This wasn't amateur hour, that was for certain.

"Ugh, sorry Thorne, but the boys sound like they need my help.."

There was an elevator at the other end of the hallway, even in the darkness, she knew where it was, like the back of her hand. Stealthily, she made her way to where it was; prepared to punch in the down button and help the boys out on the lower floor. It was better to confront their nemesis before he got to this hallway- Thorne might wind up getting hurt, if this assailant was clever enough to direct any gunfire that way.

"Oh that maniac _didn't_!"

When she reached the elevator, it was already on its way up- and Samantha narrowed her eyes at that realization. They had been told to remain on the floors they were assigned, and _not_ to move unless instructed. The upper hallway was strictly forbidden, unless they'd gotten the guy, and with the power off and the screams she'd heard...she knew that hadn't happened. No, _he'd_gotten to the elevator, he was riding it up thinking he was going to just waltz down the hallway and get to Thorne! Well...not if she could help it.

"You picked the wrong crime family to mess with."

She stood, rooted to the spot, arm stretched out and gun pointed directly at the elevator. Screw interrogation. The second those doors opened and she looked that intruder straight in the eye, she would pull the trigger and end this madness. He would never get to Thorne, not as long as she still stood. Her heart began to beat faster out of anticipation, as the elevator made the ascent up the final few floors until finally shuddering to a stop; making the quiet, dinging noise as it settled itself onto this floor- indicating the doors would open at any second. Corvus crouched into position, the tip of her tongue hanging out at her left side. Oh, she was ready for this alright.

Three shots exited the pistol as the doors opened, but the sound of contact was not with a body- but the walls of the elevator itself. Samantha stood there, dumbfounded, as the light in the elevator flickered on and off in a strobing effect, revealing to her that _nobody_was riding it. Carefully, she approached, sticking her head in to look around. When she made it a point to glance up, the light shattered. When she ducked out to avoid getting tiny shards of glass caught in her eyes, she felt a heavy breeze whoosh past her; heard the sound of fabric moving and something heavy landing behind her. She could have sworn she heard the creaking and clanking of mechanics as well, though that sound became unimportant when she realized just what had happened.

"Did you really think I wouldn't know?"

The voice behind her was snarky and patronizing. Corvus got the distinct feeling that she was being scolded for being so obvious, as well as being mocked at the same time. And she didn't like it one little bit.

_Clever bastard..._

She didn't turn around, instead expecting him to make the first move; prepared to counter his actions in a way that would lead to his untimely demise. His presence lingered for a moment, as if considering this, before he started to move _away_.

"Run along to help your little friends out, now. Thorne and I have important matters to attend to."

The young woman spun around, indignant when she saw that the tall, well-dressed man who had the gall to speak to her like that had decided to completely ignore her in order to stalk down the hallway toward where her boss was hiding. Her face contorted in rage, and she brought her pistol back around, intent on gunning this brazen figure down right where he stood. She just couldn't see him as well anymore, but she was willing to empty her weapon for a shot at him.

"That's far enough!"

Several shots rang out into the hallway- she winced as she heard one of thorne's priceless vases shatter as the result of a direct hit, but it was less valuable than his life- and others ricocheted off of..._metal_? Something wasn't quite right about that, and it raised red flags in the mob lady's head. There was nothing in this hallway that should have sounded like that getting shot. Oh well..she'd figure it out later, just as long as she'd killed that son of a bitch.

"Must you all be so difficult?"

She nearly dropped her gun right then and there, when she heard his voice again. Sighing, in exasperation. Absolutely no twinge of pain and suffering behind it at all.

"No freaking way..."

Samantha was convinced that her heart actually stopped for a moment, when the shadow- all she could make out of this man in the darkness- turned around to face her and started coming closer again. It was away from Thorne, which was good..But, on the other hand, he'd _survived _that onslaught of bullets. How?

Corvus bit her lip, swallowing her disbelief, and insisted to herself that she had simply been an incredibly sloppy shot in the dark. She wouldn't miss again, not this time. Her eyes were adjusting now, and the closer he got, the more confident she was in which part of the mass of moving shadow was his head.

_come on, come on...just a little closer..._

"This is a waste of both our times," the man chided. "You have little chance, at best, relying on that firearm in the darkness. Which, by the way, has only three bullets left. You have three chances to stop me, and if they fail as abysmally as your previous efforts..._what then_?"

There was a pause in the conversation, the figure stopped moving, and the shadows shifted a little as he altered his position somewhat. Samantha wasn't sure what exactly he was doing, but she felt the sensation of eyes on her; that she was being studied somehow.

"Your muscle mass indicates that you work out, and your line of business added to the fact you are a young woman who parades herself around this city at night..it's likely you have trained yourself in at least one method of self-defense beyond simple guns. Commendable effort, getting to where you currently stand in a _man's_ world, but while you might be able to take down a man twice your size with some effort, I'm afraid to say it isn't enough against the likes of _me_. Given I'm moments away from fulfilling my promise either way, I'll give you one last chance to turn away from this foolishness...before you end up like the guards on the lower floors."

She blinked, and her mouth hung wide open. Samantha couldn't believe she was being spoken to like that, it had been a long time since anybody had had the gall to address her in such a manner. This man was a chatterbox, and a complete smart-ass. She didn't like being spoken down to like this, or being analyzed. So he knew she worked out and had martial arts to throw around. _So what_? He still appeared to feel like he could underestimate her, and that was a big mistake in her book. Tired of listening to him, and not wanting to hear another tirade, she opened fire on him again; getting only three shots in before the barrel was empty and clicked in response. He'd been right about that, too.

The familiar clanging metallic sound followed the first two shots, but the third...she heard something different. Something that sounded like glass shattering- and at first, she was concerned she'd ruined another one of Thorne's precious art pieces. That was, before the shadow recoiled while hissing as if in some sort of pain, and the shape before her distorted...until three, glowing crimson orbs appeared where she was certain a human head had previously been.

"...Lucky shot," the voice seethed with some sense of malevolence that had either not been there before, or had simply been carefully disguised. Samantha held her breath, he was still talking- she was out of ammo, it hadn't been enough! What did he mean lucky shot? She would have assumed he was being sarcastic, if his tone hadn't shifted so much. Though usually a bold woman with more impulse than common sense, she actually took a few steps backward as he started moving at her again- and opened her mouth wide, as if to scream, at what she finally saw when he was right on top of her. Nothing came out, she was too horrified. What she was looking at...wasn't a man at all. There were sharp, metallic, angular features poking out of a snazzy coat- but even more unsettling were those three crimson orbs, presumably eyes. Connected to a metallic face of some sort, encased in glass- and she'd sent a bullet through part of his head. Damaging something, she could see sparks flying, but he didn't seem too put off. Perhaps...what she and everybody else had seen before was just a holograph, and she'd damaged the projector.

"Woah, okay, I don't know who sent you here you metallic freak, but I'm warning you..."

A robotic hand shot out to grab the edge of her pistol, and crushed it easily within its grasp, all before she could even finish her sentence. The twisted metal was yanked from her hands quite forcefully and tossed down the dark hallway, while the tall, imposing robot continued to advance, pushing her directly into a corner. Those red optics narrowed, and even though it was a robot she was looking at- not a man- Samantha could still make out that this was a glare of some sort.

"So, you wish for me to indulge you in your valiant, yet futile, efforts to save your boss? Very well then. Just remember, you've spent your chance to walk away unscathed!"

A fist came hurdling at her face with incredible speed; she barely had time to react. Thankfully enough from her martial arts training, her first instinct was to dodge- and she did so by crouching down as quickly as possible, narrowly avoiding being on the receiving end of the metallic fist that had gone right through the wall. Going completely on instinct and impulse, she lunged out toward his legs in a sweeping motion, hoping to catch him off guard enough to knock him over. It _almost_worked- she heard him make an offended noise, before he caught himself and flipped away, head tilting slightly to get a better look at her.

"Not bad. But how long can you keep it up?"

The crazed machine came at her again, faster this time, going after her with both his fists and sharp, taloned feet. He wasn't giving her much of a chance to get up at all, she had to flatten herself on the floor and roll away to avoid the initial strikes, and even then the skin on her left arm was sliced open by the sharp metal poking out from his legs- leaving a long, bleeding scar in its wake. Samantha grit her teeth in pain, forcing herself to get back up- if she remained on the floor like that, the fight would be over in an instant. She _couldn't_ let him win that easily!

She countered the next moves as best as she could, throwing her arms and legs up to intercept his own, ducking away as strikes came for her head, chest, and ribs. She struck back a few times- forced him back once or twice, but this was a losing battle already. Fists against metal were painful, even if he backed off, and if she kept this up...she was sure to break her hands in no time at all. Her knuckles were already bleeding, it was hard to contain the shouts of pain slamming her fists into his body caused. But he could tell...she was certain of it. There was something, a twinkle in his optics, something in his body language.

Finally, he tired of the initial game. His fists came at her in a blinding fury, impossibly fast, and while she attempted to protect her head from those, he made his _real_ move- a knee- or at least, what constituted as such- right into her gut. Corvus hacked and doubled over, the wind completely knocked out of her, and her body reeling from the pain and force behind such a blow. She started falling to the floor, before the robot caught her; holding her up painfully by a handful of her hair. The hat had been knocked off, sometime during the struggle.

She...She'd failed. She'd failed Thorne, her boss, and now this freak was going to get to him. The devastation overwhelmed her, so much, that she couldn't even force herself to feel afraid that this might be the end of the road. She didn't care...she just hoped that the robot would make it quick, and not drag her death out for some sick sense of amusement. Instead, he released his hold on her, allowing her to crumple to the floor like the pitiful mess she was.

"As I _said_, you didn't stand a chance. Perhaps next time you'll be more open to suggestions, instead of being willing to throw your life away like an imbecile. Now, if you'll excuse me...I really must be going. I'm already twenty minutes late."

He stepped over her body, unconcerned about finishing her off, and resumed his quest of stalking toward Thorne's office. Samantha was too dumbstruck to do anything other than stare at the robot's fleeting figure, struggling to come to terms with just how outclassed she was here. It greatly stung her pride, to realize that there was _nothing_ she could do to stop him.


	5. Chapter 5

lol please don't kill me for this- this is awful, _awful_ crack I did just for the lulz.

SO MUCH ITALICS ABUSE.

* * *

"Ohh, come on, just _one_ more ride? I _know _he'll come!"

"No. This isn't the time for that sort of thing."

Roxanne huffed, glaring at her killjoy of a robotic boss. Every bit of the adrenaline junkie within her told her to screw what the tin can was saying, and just take one of his rockets for a joyride. But, what common sense she did have held her back..for the moment, anyway. He _probably_ had some way to assume control of the rockets. She should find out, so that she'd be able to disable that in the future and have a little fun on her own terms.

"What are you, some kind of tease? You've been making me bait and bait him all this time...and now that I'm in the loop, you tell me _no_?"

"That's right," the robot simply replied. "I'd suggest you get used to these kinds of disappointments."

She pouted. Tch, what a boring, simple little answer. She decided it didn't really matter, and that she could ignore it. Hell, she wasn't giving anything up without some kind of fight.

"Oh, you _poor _thing, " D.A.V.E scoffed, at that insufferable childish pouting. "Isn't it terrible when you don't get everything you want?"

"What do you have against a little fun?"

"You're having a little _too _much of it, lately."

She grinned, gazing off to the side of the warehouse as she fondly recalled her various romps with the Batman. Oh, what she wouldn't do to feel that kind of rush again.

"What can I say?" she shrugged, turning back to face the robot. "He brings out the animal in me."

The robot's eyes narrowed in a manner Roxanne had learned was either exasperation, or the equivalent of eye-rolling. Not that there was much of a difference between the two.

"So I noticed."

She frowned at D.A.V.E, as he resumed the busy work he had contented himself with for the past hour or so. It wasn't _what _he'd said that bothered her, rather it was that 'knowing' and disapproving tone of voice.

"Got a problem with it?"

He didn't even look at her, too busy doing...whatever the hell he thought he was working on.

"We don't want to scare him off, now do we? Perhaps you should tone it down, Miss Sutton."

So he was insulting her, yet being formal about it at the same time? Weirdo.

"And just what do you mean by _that_?"

"Not every male out there approves of the woman they pursue sounding as if she's part of an orgy, simply because of the rush of adrenaline."

Roxanne's eyes widened at the very...blunt statement.

"Your readings tend to indicate all the signs of sexual thrill," he explained, as if his mission here were to humiliate her as much as possible. "Quite a release of chemicals that provide the body an immense amount of pleasure. Ecstasy, even. As I said before, a bit _too_ much. We can't be certain he won't be frightened by someone as forward as yourself."

She _still_ didn't have a quick answer. She had to allow his words to sink in, to process what he was saying while simultaneously getting over the shock of the fact he'd even said this at all. At first, she looked scandalized. D.A.V.E simply tilted his head to the side in a manner that suggested, if he were human, that he'd be smirking from finding a way to shut her up.

So, the robot wanted to play this game? Well, she could do it too. Roxanne smirked and leaned back in her chair, chuckling a little.

"I _get _it..."

He looked up at her, narrowing his optics in a determined frustration.

"You're jealous," she insisted. "Aww, poor baby!"

His optics widened in complete disbelief, and he looked at her as if she had gone entirely mad. Maybe she had, if she could discern what his human face would look like, simply based on how his optics looked...but that didn't change her little game up at all.

"Beg your pardon?"

Roxanne heard instead, _'oh I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. did you say something completely stupid?'_.

"You heard me," she laughed. "You're just jealous that I'm the one Bats is giving all the thrill and attention. While you get nothing."

His optics narrowed again, at the babyish tone of voice she'd used at the end of that sentence. For once, the robot didn't have anything to say. That, or he decided it was best not to dignify her absurdity with a response.

Roxanne's grin grew wider. That meant she'd won.

"...I just want to play with him a little more before you get your turn. Of course, we could _share_ him. "

"You'll notice I no longer possess the necessary equipment for _your_sort of fun."

Hah, oh, so he'd understood her joking implication? Well, she wasn't going to let him get the last word in- boss or otherwise.

"What I _noticed_, is that you didn't say no to the idea."

D.A.V.E heaved in exasperation, and she could see he was sorry he'd ever said 'no' to her request of joyriding just for the hell of it.

Game, set, and match- if Roxanne didn't say so herself.


End file.
